Exodus 34-40 Failing and Rising Again

Reading through the Old testament is as difficult and tedious as my struggle in life now. Maybe the day when I no longer see it as a task but something I enjoy, my life will also have changed somehow. 

The sins of generations mentioned by God signify the consequences of deeds done by people and can be passed down to their offspring. The same old mindsets or same toxic patterns of behaviors. And to me when God called Himself the Jealous God, it means to seek the Truth. And anything not of truth works against it. 

 

The people of Israelites failed badly with their golden calf and completely betrayed what God had told them. However, God gave them another chance to rise again through the the stone tablets created with Moses. Same laws and ordinances were recorded again on the new tablets. I got to find some new meanings in some of the decrees. When God ordered them to give the first born and the best of their harvest, it means we are to give and do the best in our life and let God's light shines through us. And God gave people talents and to let them work on the sanctuary and other things. It is the same throughout human history and nowadays that there are people with extraordinary talents and gifts. But gifts don't limited to just pure talents but also faith and perseverance to excel in or complete something. We are all called to do our best with what we can do. No one should compare themselves with others and feel jealous or inferior as long as one focuses and gives their best. 

Even though the Israelites suffered from hard labors this their slavery yet through that experience, they learned about different skills needed to be used for making the things God instructed them to do. It can be applied to my life too. Even though what I experienced was nothing like the cruelty the Israelites went through. Through the jobs that I might not have liked, I did learn skills from those years of working as well as the experience of working with people of different nations, even though I may not see the purpose now. 

To see with the perspective of how religions work, I can understand now why God instructed to build sanctuary, tent, alter, mercy seat and priests' garments. Even though it was extremely tedious to read through them all. The people of Israelites needed those kinds of rituals and place to be reminded that God's presence was with them wherever they went. 

When I read through until the end, I realized that all these people of God must have been pure hearts and minds in order to be used by God. They completely subjected and surrendered to God's instructions. I cannot help but feeling sad that I have a very stubborn mind of my own besides a series of mental disorders. There always seemed to be some agendas out there for my relationship with God. I really don't ask for being used as a woman after God. But I pray  to have that pure heart to be kind to others and of wisdom from God. 

I thought by the time when Exodus ended, I would probably have come out of my own desert by now. Yet, neither the Israelites had left  the desert, nor had I. Let's just keep journeying on!