Freedom is not free
I was talking to a friend about politics the other day and the sentence he mentioned, "Freedom is not free" dawned upon me. Even though what that friend meant for the sentence was blood shedding revolution for freedom, it made me start introspecting my life. I am a person who is all about freedom, even though I appear to be cautious owing to my personality type. I used to think if you really love something, you must have as much of it as possible. And it was all or nothing for me. But over the years as I grew and after learning about minimalism. All or nothing actually doesn't really apply to most things in life.
I have learned about what it means to set boundary in relationships and have a guideline for something. Freedom is indeed not free, especially, when I am suffering from insomnia because of my poor sleep hygiene. I enjoyed or even addicted to the thrill of staying up and being awake alone in the dark doing whatever I wanted. I seemed free, didn't I? But it has taken the toll on my mental health.
Freedom is discipline and a privilege. It is definitely not free. It is not a wild horse running all over forest just for fun all day long. It is a horse that goes out to find food and water and then play.
I used to dream about taking some time off and having time of my own doing whatever I loved. And I did it. I did it with pain, sweat and price to pay. I don't regret for this experience, as I have learned some other valuable things all along the way. But I also have done quite a few follies. Didn't I just have the time to myself? Why couldn't I just do whatever I loved without a care? Because freedom is not free. It was no fun having no structure without much human interaction for so many years. I simply couldn't force myself to enjoy my so called "freedom". There were many days I simply didn't have energy to even get out of bed. And now I lost my sleep. How ironic that I got so much "free" time to do anything with resources freely handed to me and the sky was the limit and yet I squandered them all. I am feeling like a prodigal son begging for redemption and willing to forfeit my so called "freedom", so I can truly taste real freedom. A freedom that has guidelines. A freedom that is earned.
I have learned about what it means to set boundary in relationships and have a guideline for something. Freedom is indeed not free, especially, when I am suffering from insomnia because of my poor sleep hygiene. I enjoyed or even addicted to the thrill of staying up and being awake alone in the dark doing whatever I wanted. I seemed free, didn't I? But it has taken the toll on my mental health.
Freedom is discipline and a privilege. It is definitely not free. It is not a wild horse running all over forest just for fun all day long. It is a horse that goes out to find food and water and then play.
I used to dream about taking some time off and having time of my own doing whatever I loved. And I did it. I did it with pain, sweat and price to pay. I don't regret for this experience, as I have learned some other valuable things all along the way. But I also have done quite a few follies. Didn't I just have the time to myself? Why couldn't I just do whatever I loved without a care? Because freedom is not free. It was no fun having no structure without much human interaction for so many years. I simply couldn't force myself to enjoy my so called "freedom". There were many days I simply didn't have energy to even get out of bed. And now I lost my sleep. How ironic that I got so much "free" time to do anything with resources freely handed to me and the sky was the limit and yet I squandered them all. I am feeling like a prodigal son begging for redemption and willing to forfeit my so called "freedom", so I can truly taste real freedom. A freedom that has guidelines. A freedom that is earned.
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