Exodus 4-6 Growing Pains
This entry on these chapters is highly personalized by my situation. God is using this story to teach me something more about my life. Besides, I cannot help but assuming that Moses might have had traits of avoidant personality disorder for his lack of self-esteem, articulation and his constant rejecting the job of doing what God directed him to do. And it was interesting to see how God tried to reason and negotiate with Moses. Then finally, God Himself compromised and came up with a plan that Moses' biological brother, Aaron would be the spokesperson. God's words of negotiation were actually very encouraging. He declared that He is the one who gives a person a mouth to speak and another doesn't, meaning that He is the Creator of all things. He is behind anything that could happen. Thus we shall not have fear. Even though Moses' stubbornness was beyond repair.
I was in a insomniac state while I was reading through these three chapters. I could almost feel a tiny bit of the pain that the Hebrews had gone through with my sleepless fatigue. After finishing reading this part of Exodus, I really thought this time there wasn't anything particular for me to write about. The story went as God sent Moses and Aaron to tell Pharaoh to release the Hebrews to a place to celebrate a feast in God's honor in the desert. But Pharaoh didn't approve and add more works in order to exhaust the people. I thought that was pretty much about it and nothing to apply into my life.
Yet, during my walking workout, the Spirit showed me that what I am going through is not unlike the Hebrew people's circumstances. Being addicted to the thrill of staying up late and using social media has been the last area in my life that hasn't been tackled yet. God showed me how squandering I was by revealing the financial situation of my parents. I've started to learn to make budget and make use of the basic necessity. God's used psychotherapy and books to help me to face the issue of emotional binge-eating and learning more about who I am. Then, gradually, I've been losing the weight I used to gain through binge-eating. Through research, books and psychological test, I've learned about the reason why I was the way I was in some social circumstances. It is like God's been showing layer after layer of some enigma of my life.
The habit of staying up late really started from my last job. Despite I had to go to work early in the morning, I would still stay up until 2 or 3 and sometimes 4 o'clock so I could have "time that was completely mine" to do whatever I enjoyed doing. That habit has continued to these days. Even though I know it would have caused me discomfort physically and mentally, I still would find excuses to stay up later and later until next morning. I've been wanting to understand the mentality behind this. I can understand why I did that when I still got a job because the majority of day time was spent doing stuff required by others in order to make a living. And the hours before bed time were never enough for me to be satisfied to do what I enjoyed doing. However, I am supposed to have all the day time to myself to do anything, but I still have chosen to do them at night time and slept during day time. It could have result from the shame I feel about being jobless. So I want an escape from being around people in combination of the addiction to social media which results from lack of connection with people in real life.
So I've been feeling this extreme discomfort of insomnia these days and just like how Pharaoh decided to put more works to the Israelites. Even though both of the situations seem unbearable. But God's used these situations for our own good. So I would have learned the importance of sleep hygiene and for the Hebrews to know the gravity of moving back to Canaan. Humans are so prone to being in comfort zone, even if the comfort zone is false. I was so used to staying up late and sleeping during the day. And the Hebrews were so used to hard labors and being slaves. But the hardships are meant for us to realize the change is necessary. I can relate to the whining of the people when the hardship strikes. I felt that it would've been better that I just continued to stay up late and sleep during the day and it was better than being complete sleepless ; while The Hebrews preferred that Aaron and Moses had never approached Pharaoh to ask him to release them.
Through the treatment of Pharaoh to Israelites, I see God being very patient in planning all the details in our lives. Even though we cannot comprehend everything that happens to us, there is a purpose in it. The harsh reality of the Hebrew people was not meaningless. It was for preparing their realization that they were indeed God's people being mistreated terribly and that they should depart from Egypt to journey to their promised land, Canaan.
It is painful to adjust in difficult circumstance because it comes with the necessary growing pains. In order to find freedom, there is always price to pay. Because freedom is not free. Freedom is gained through struggles and challenges.
I was in a insomniac state while I was reading through these three chapters. I could almost feel a tiny bit of the pain that the Hebrews had gone through with my sleepless fatigue. After finishing reading this part of Exodus, I really thought this time there wasn't anything particular for me to write about. The story went as God sent Moses and Aaron to tell Pharaoh to release the Hebrews to a place to celebrate a feast in God's honor in the desert. But Pharaoh didn't approve and add more works in order to exhaust the people. I thought that was pretty much about it and nothing to apply into my life.
Yet, during my walking workout, the Spirit showed me that what I am going through is not unlike the Hebrew people's circumstances. Being addicted to the thrill of staying up late and using social media has been the last area in my life that hasn't been tackled yet. God showed me how squandering I was by revealing the financial situation of my parents. I've started to learn to make budget and make use of the basic necessity. God's used psychotherapy and books to help me to face the issue of emotional binge-eating and learning more about who I am. Then, gradually, I've been losing the weight I used to gain through binge-eating. Through research, books and psychological test, I've learned about the reason why I was the way I was in some social circumstances. It is like God's been showing layer after layer of some enigma of my life.
The habit of staying up late really started from my last job. Despite I had to go to work early in the morning, I would still stay up until 2 or 3 and sometimes 4 o'clock so I could have "time that was completely mine" to do whatever I enjoyed doing. That habit has continued to these days. Even though I know it would have caused me discomfort physically and mentally, I still would find excuses to stay up later and later until next morning. I've been wanting to understand the mentality behind this. I can understand why I did that when I still got a job because the majority of day time was spent doing stuff required by others in order to make a living. And the hours before bed time were never enough for me to be satisfied to do what I enjoyed doing. However, I am supposed to have all the day time to myself to do anything, but I still have chosen to do them at night time and slept during day time. It could have result from the shame I feel about being jobless. So I want an escape from being around people in combination of the addiction to social media which results from lack of connection with people in real life.
So I've been feeling this extreme discomfort of insomnia these days and just like how Pharaoh decided to put more works to the Israelites. Even though both of the situations seem unbearable. But God's used these situations for our own good. So I would have learned the importance of sleep hygiene and for the Hebrews to know the gravity of moving back to Canaan. Humans are so prone to being in comfort zone, even if the comfort zone is false. I was so used to staying up late and sleeping during the day. And the Hebrews were so used to hard labors and being slaves. But the hardships are meant for us to realize the change is necessary. I can relate to the whining of the people when the hardship strikes. I felt that it would've been better that I just continued to stay up late and sleep during the day and it was better than being complete sleepless ; while The Hebrews preferred that Aaron and Moses had never approached Pharaoh to ask him to release them.
Through the treatment of Pharaoh to Israelites, I see God being very patient in planning all the details in our lives. Even though we cannot comprehend everything that happens to us, there is a purpose in it. The harsh reality of the Hebrew people was not meaningless. It was for preparing their realization that they were indeed God's people being mistreated terribly and that they should depart from Egypt to journey to their promised land, Canaan.
It is painful to adjust in difficult circumstance because it comes with the necessary growing pains. In order to find freedom, there is always price to pay. Because freedom is not free. Freedom is gained through struggles and challenges.
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