Pandora's box

I opened the Pandora’s box. 
And not surprisingly, I wasn’t ready to face what was to come. 

All the pain and hurt surfaced and I cried my heart out in grief. 

Maybe it’s a good thing, so I can face what I have been numbing 

for so long with another mean. 

It is like I am stuck in when whatever happened back then. 

Time is passing me by. 

Everything is changing around me but I am still here. 

No matter how hard I have grieved, the pain wouldn’t go away. 

It is like my body is filled with grief, pain, and fear wrapped up with anxiety. 

I still wake up each morning hoping not to. 

I still spend all of my money like there’s no tomorrow. 

I am no more hopeful than a drunk.