Bleu Neptune

Deep deep sadness from my gut and my belly.  What do I need to let go of or strip away?  A voice within me says: Everything.  The old pattern, the old connection, and the old version of me...

Being an adult is to learn to sit with pain that comes and goes Then, all of a sudden it stings you sharply again Learning to detach from EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE and be okay with being alone But it feels like I have been learning it my whole life Nothing lasts and no one stays

I am learning again that if I like something or someone I don't need to own it.  If I see a beautiful rose, I don't need to pluck it off. Even though I got led on to believe that it belonged to me.  I ignored my intuition because of the sweet, enticing words of little substance.  I kept holding onto the thorns of the rose that wasn't mine even if my hands were bleeding.  I kept going back to see the rose day after day watering it and keeping it company but only to find out that it was plucked away by someone else I never knew.  I am grieving for the fond memories and hurting for the excuses, lies and distance.  It stains my love and betrays my soul.  It left a hollow and empty hole in my heart.  The change of heart and the rejection is, in a way similar to the death of a person you once knew  They are no more even though they are still phsyically alive in this world.  But the distance between your hearts and souls are greater than heaven and hell. I am all alone again like