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Showing posts from January, 2017

Unhappy

To be honest, I am really unhappy.  I don't know what has gone wrong.  It is by God's grace all along the way.  It is not easy to tell just someone randomly about my story.  I hate to feel that I am gonna be this person whom someone from church wants to speak to or spends time with just because that is his/her job.  I hope someone could just want to spend time with me because he/she likes the way I am. I hate pretending to be Christian-y.  Oh dear, when I was asked if I got time to meet up, I was really anxious.  I felt that I had done something wrong.  I feel more and more unhappy in this "family".  Yet, I don't have another one to go to.

Real

God doesn't seem real to me no matter how great others have said that He is.  He becomes very real to me the moment when I start searching for Him at my heartbreak.  Lord, I need You.  He becomes real when he is the source that I rely on.  I pray O Lord... for peace, for rest... for strength to go through the storm.