Bleu Neptune

 The most important message and verse of this book is Joshua 1:9 "This is My command: be strong and courageous. Never be afraid or discouraged because I am your God, the Eternal One, and I will remain with you wherever you go." Israelite were just coming out of the wandering and full of fear and doubts of the unknown future.  Sometimes we humans rather stay in situations that are bad for us than change. And God knew exactly how Israelite felt, He made it a command for them to go in courage and faith for He would be with them wherever they go.  This verse resonates with me in my life as well. As I am at the exit of wandering in my life but I am really scared to take the next step. God's words have given me strength to take a leap of faith.  A couple of verses that also stood out from the book : Verse 18:3 "How much more time do you intend to waste before going to claim the land the Eternal God of your ancestors is giving to you?" God was speaking to me as well ab

I am at the point of seeing my own immaturity  Not because of your accusation But I have started to be aware of my addictive behavior of holding onto something that is toxic to me  You do not love me  Yet I insist You do not owe me to be the role of fullfilling my need You do not owe me to be the role of being taken care by me so I could feel my sense of existence  You never asked me to love you You never asked me to be intimate  It has all been a game designed by myself  and you were merely playing along out of boredom or sympathy Today I drop the victimhood I quit labeling you a personality disorder Today I see my own addiction  I start to facing my own fear instead of using you as an excuse and distraction for avoiding pain. Thank you for teaching me how to love  Thank you for being the hope that I needed to keep going  Thank you for just talking to me 

I have never thought that I would have liked the book, Deuteronomy. Before reading it, I assumed that this would have been a book full of rules just like Leviticus and Numbers. But instead, it was Moses and God's narrating from how God had been leading Israel out of Egypt, their experience and incidents in the desert to the place right before entering the promised land.  This book is parallel to the situation in my life that I am going right at the gate of my promised land in life. From the beginning, God told the Israel that they'd stayed long enough at this mountain and it was time to break camp, and head up to the area outside of the land that God was going to give them. God is telling me through the verse that I have been staying in this same "place" long enough and it is time for me to pick myself up and head to the next step.  "Indeed, what other nation is so great that it has a god that compares to the Eternal our God as He is near to us whenever we call o

The journey in the wilderness wasn't easy and the Israelites lost their faith and started complaining and wondering if it was better that they stayed back in Egypt. It is the same in my life. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier if I kept my old job or if I simply just found another job back then than feeling stuck here doing nothing. But God is with me and He got the promised land for me and I shall not be afraid and go back to the old way of life. 

I will summarize the chapters with keywords repeated in each one.  Chapter 20 talks about rules for sexual relations. We are called to be holy and do what is right concerning to sexual relations. However, I don't see any rules talking about sex before marriage is sinful. It does mention if a man has sexual relations with another man is an detestable act. But just like the rule for having tattoos. I no longer believe that we are to observe literally every rule in the Old Testament.  Chapter 21: Priests were called to be holy to the point that God ordered them to marry virgins only. This is misogynistic. I really believe this is a man made rule.  Chapter 22: It's mainly about food offering and some rules regarding what is considered impure. Chapter 23: It's emphasizing the importance of sabbath and sacred assemblies. I think they signify that we are called to be in fellowship with connection to God and to put aside our works and to be fully present.  Chapter 24: I struggle wi

I never knew what acceptance meant until a wise friend told me that I needed it I thought just letting go was enough But I was never able to do that  without accepting things as the way they were I refused to believe what I was told and  I was getting myself in deep by keeping on dreaming for a fantasy that never existed Oh boy it hurts to swallow the truth But it is better off this way I started to have clarity and know what is more important at hand  Yes, I still care But acceptance has etched in my head now It keeps me reminding me to love myself more I am closing a chapter behind me Maybe someday I will be free from this poison Whatever is true and real will remain

Nobody can save me Nor can I save anyone It has always been my own reflection Save yourself...

This is the dance of the present I shall not look back and worry about what is to come For in this moment I am all yours

Everytime I find myself try to hold onto something  I remind myself to let go and let go It is insecurity talking..

Ever since I started talking to him Every insecurity in me comes out It is like a mirror reflecting what is inside of me I cannot point my finger blaming the other Maybe this is a blessing disguised as a struggle I am learning to let go and not to control I am learning about rejection Oh boy it still hurts But I only want him to be happy  Even when it means I won't be the one for him Every time I think of his words of rejection, it stings my heart However, it hurts more with the thought that my existence only causes him pain  Now I finally understand why patient is the first description of love  Oh boy how hard it is not to want to rush it and know the answer now But I will refrain from asking anything prematurely  I will just let it unfold Even if it means that things don't go how I want them to be But I trust that God knows what I need  and everything I experience has a purpose Now I finally realize that I have been chasing after shadow of perfection An ideal job An ideal fri

I no longer believe there is a type anymore You just love who you love 

This is a journal to record how I feel about him June 1, 2020 I got up the courage to write him, showing him my turtles and tortoises' photos. I enjoyed talking to him very much June 2, It went downhill after deleting him and telling him about my limerence toward him  June 3, We still talked but he wouldn't add me back on FB again I am not sure which day he added me back after we chatted for a few days and I felt overjoyed and I thought he also liked me  And then it all went downhill again one day he was all quiet and I tried to ask him questions to see how he was. Then came the big shocking news that he was getting married to a family friend... I acted all sad and he learned that I liked him. Then he rejected me telling me that he did not like and I was not his type and being an East Asian. :( Oh, and he deleted me on FB From that point, I really thought that would have had been the last time I talked with him. But surprisingly, he still chose to talk to me the next day.  I go

Chapter 17: The word, blood is being mentioned 15 times in this chapter of The Voice Edition. It emphasizes that blood represents life. And God wanted Israelites to honor that and not to take it lightly. In another sense it is like tell them not to shed blood. Also blood represent atonement and which Jesus did through losing his life-blood on the cross.  Chapter 18: This chapter is about boundary concerning sexual relations. Humans are sexual beings. And God knows it well that it brings joy and pleasant but also destruction if done in a wrong circumstance. Therefore His instructed what not to do when it comes to sex. However, the verse,  You are not to have sexual relation with a man in the same way you do with a woman; such a thing is detestable. (Leviticus 18:22) is homophobic. I discusses with a friend and he said that the original text was talking about rape rather than sex between two men.  There are lots to talk about for chapter 19. And some of the good reminders in the followin

You can't truly live anticipating death Life can only be found in each present momemt 

Tender heart, don't anticipate the end Enjoy each moment of a dance  Nobody owns anyone  Not even in marriage or relationship It will come when it is time to part  Weary heart, don't worry about the end  Enjoy each conversation There is nothing you can do  to stop a current that pushes someone to you nor can you hold onto something that is meant to drift away  Let it go Anxious heart, don't stir up anything Enjoy every note of a song  Practice as you need For a performance is not without time spent preparing When it is time to play, you will play it well Wait in patience  Just let love drives out your fear 

It has been a great struggle reading through these chapters as usual. Being unable to observe anything really makes me want to cry and reading the rituals makes me drowsy as well. However, this all experience is just like my struggle in real life with working on my portfolio which is painstakingly slow with lots of details. And it doesn't seem to end ever.  So the priest has to burn the garment-whether it is made of wool, linen or leather-because it has some serious outbreak like leprosy and must be destroyed by fire. (Leviticus 13:52) This reminds me not only on any diseases but to prevent bad things or habits from destroying or influencing our lives. It must be destroyed and burned. In another sense, we must go through challenges in order to be set free.  Along with the grain offering on the altar. This is how the priest will cover the sin, guilt and uncleanness of the person seeking to be cleansed; this person must be considered clean once again (Leviticus 14:20) When you go int

I love you, I love you Words that I can never say to you So I turn them into my prayers for you Not to seek something out of you But wish the best for you Thank you for teaching me to love beyond race and barrier I love you, I love you It just makes me smile when I look at your photos  It is more than just a fantasy and imagination I love you, I love you Even if you snore, have bad breath and a bald head Thank you for making me feel less alone in this lonely world I love you, I love you I thought my dream was travelling to Latin America and Spain conversing in Spanish But now my biggest dream is to go out on a date with you I love you, I love you Even though I don't really know you in person And that you repetitively told me that I was not your type and all the obstacles  for you are a practical person I love who you are and your soul And I want to love deeply and unselfishly I want you to be happy  Even if you don't like me back I love you, I love you These are the words that

Everything has a purpose The pain and despair that I have been feeling has a purpose I cried and wailed asking God why I must go through this in order to learn to love myself and love Him.  Afterwards, I felt this peace that I had never felt before.  That peace reminds me not to control of anything but to trust.  Trust not that things will go as how I want them to go but rather how I need I am grateful to have met him I am grateful for the heartache and pain that I have experienced  For it wasn't him who gave me the pain  But through him, something triggered the wounds that have always been deep inside of me I accept and surrender that I do not know what's gonna happen.  I really love talking to him.  Shouldn't I focus on doing that in the presence? Talk as much as I can  And cherish each conversation we share Love deeply  There is no fear in love  and love drives out fear Love is patient and patience is surrender to the present moment Love is not self-seeking.  I love deep

Sorry I didn't mean to have all these feeling I wish I could look at you differently like a brother or friend I can't stop liking you despite I know that you are not mine I used to think that I had a type  I only wanted to date certain look or race I didn't mean to look for anyone from that group  It just happened I have no words to describe or explain how it happened I thought you liked me too as we enjoy having conversation with each other I have felt the closeness through sharing details and secrets with each other I felt so hurt that you told me that you did not like me because of my race  I felt so hurt that you continued to tell me that I was not your type You are not my type, either.  But it still happened.  Why can't you look beyond the form and limitation? Why can't you be brave and fight for your life instead of letting circumstances to rule you? I have decided to accept whatever is gonna happen  Even if it still pains me greatly thinking of what is to com

Sometimes to love is to do what is good for both persons Sometimes to love is to let go 

You must know the difference between the sacred and the profane, the ritually pure and the impure and teach the people of Israel the directives, which I have revealed to them through Moses. (Leviticus 10:10-11) From this verse, I learned that we are called to tell right from wrong. Discernment and wisdom are essential. If any food in the container that is ready to eat is touched by water,  then the food becomes impure. Any drink from a contaminated container will become impure as well. If any part of a dead body touches something-say, an oven or stove-then that oven or stove must be destroyed. They are impure and will always be impure to you. However if a carcass falls into a spring or a container accumulating water, the water will be ritually pure because it is continually renewed. But the person who pulls the carcass out of the water will be ritually impure. If any part of the dead body has contact with a seed that is to be planted, then the seed remains ritually pure because it is d

Do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill that love so that it stops hurting. But the of course part of us dies, too. Or we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel. --- The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom    I couldn't feel the motivation to do anything yesterday. I wish it was a nightmare when I woke up. I went back to sleep after my morning routine because I found no purpose to go on anymore. Then, after I woke up, somehow I picked myself up again to do what needed to be done. At first I felt grief, then I felt anger toward that person. The anger was not for not being loved, but rather that he gave in so easily to his life's circumstance. I only wanted him to hurt as much as I was hurt. Whatever I said was just vitriolic bile.  Nevertheless, I knew deep down in my heart that this was not right. I couldn&

There is nothing you can do to make someone love you more. And there is nothing you can do to make someone love you less. But always, always love yourself. 

It has been challenging to read this book so far. I struggle to find anything to learn from yet there are still some verses stand out that I will try to interpret them.  "The fire on the alter must burn continually; it must not be allowed to go out. The priests are to feed wood to the fire every morning, arrange the burnt offering on the fire, and offer up the fat portions of the peace offerings. The fire on the altar must burn continually; it must not be allowed to go out."  (Leviticus 6:12-13) I see that fire represents our connection, faith and relationship with God. We are called to be continually be in communication with Him. And the act of feeding wood to the fire every morning can be seen as our spiritual practice or quiet time with the Lord daily. It is very essential to start practicing to take some time out of a day to connect to the Lord as well as my inner self.  "Also a person who comes into contact with something impure - whether it pertains to human or ani

When you find a beautiful flower, you don't have to pluck it just because you like it Just leave it and let it be It is the same when you like a person You don't have to stir up something that is not ready or not meant to be  Sometimes to love is to let go  Love is free

Pain is supposed to be felt  To open it up and clean it feeling the hurt deeply There are no formulas or manuals for healing and applying a quick fix to the pain will never heal the wound For the first time I truly see clearly the real state of me  A big mess of a crying baby needing love and attention I manipulate unconsciously  I can't trust my motives behind my actions A baby wants something and is possessive of it  It is not love I am not yet the diamond But one underneath an unpolished rock For the first time I truly see the wounds in me  And nobody else can help me  I didn't know the meaning behind the time I spent reading the After series By the grace of God  Now I have realized that toward the end of the story that girl realized that she could not fix that boy  and she needed to work on her own brokenness.  I see clearly now what I have to do  I need to let go Two broken people finding warmth from each other is nothing but a fairy tale It keeps them from growing and hea

Real soulmate is not created, chased and idealized.  There is nothing you can do to stop him from coming to you And it will never work trying to make someone into one. 

I want to use a different approach on recording my thoughts on Leviticus. I will just write down what I learn or observe for each chapter as it is a book more of rituals than stories.  Leviticus 4  This part of the book talks about sins and the way to atone them. And it begs the question of what sin is? I look at humans have conditions that are likely to make mistakes and fails. And this flaw and imperfection are what so called original sin. But the sins in this chapter means violating the directives instructed by God. And God showed them the ways how to make amends of the mistakes they have committed through rituals done by the designated priests. Even though I am not fond of animal sacrifice as an animal lover and a pescatarian, I can understand the reasons behind the primitive rituals.  I have observed that whenever there are any kinds of offerings, they are to make the pleasant aroma which symbolizes the state of the relationship between God and His people.   Leviticus 5   As the v

I am trapped in the snare I set up a moment ago Feeling drown and dizzy not knowing where to go I drank the poison made by myself  Desire, infatuation, confusion and affection blur my eyes I am not sure if those are tears or rains falling on my face while I am walking down the familiar road I cannot breathe no more I need to let go of what is not mine to hold  Have I mistaken it as a love song? Is it just another fool's fairy tale? Maybe I am an unicorn that is never meant to belong to no one  It seems so beautiful and hopeful  But I can't pretend not to hear the sad undertone I am sitting here trying to utter a word that is chocked in my chest filled with emotions Is it love or just yesterday's illusion? I told myself, silly girl,  Love yourself  Enjoy the present  Walk on the path that you are to go  I wanna be a friend and learns to love for real  But I can't keep the toxin from flowing through my veins.  and the tricks that my mind is playing on me  Is it wrong to w

God instructed His people to different rituals of offerings requiring them to choosing the best and unblemished life stocks and harvest for the priests to be sacrificed and burned so they could produce a pleasant aroma to Him. I see that these instructions symbolize that everyone does their best in their niches of life offering their best works or performances which could also be a way of worship and aromatic offering to God. I don't think God really cared about eating the food himself but rather it was a symbol to show the people to follow Him and do their best is like pleasing aroma to Him. He wants His people to be  that aroma and let God's way to continue forever.  The verse that says "Aaron's sons will then splatter the blood of the lamb against the sides of the altar" reflects that Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. 

Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one's feelings reciprocated. Limerence can also be defined as an involuntary state of intense romantic desire. ----- Wikipedia Life is full of turns and surprises. I thought that after learning about CEN, Childhood Emotional Neglect and AvPD, Avoidant Personality Disorder in recent years that I have completed my collection of mental problems on top of anxiety disorder, panic attacks, Intrusive thought OCD and dysthymia. Then I stumbled upon Limerence, a condition that made me have strong romantic desire toward another person. Sure, I might really like that person, but that proportion goes out of healthy order. Could it be the Pisces sign that has jinxed me or CEN has played tricks on my attachment issue?  I have always been a very romantic person at least in my

Reading through the Old testament is as difficult and tedious as my struggle in life now. Maybe the day when I no longer see it as a task but something I enjoy, my life will also have changed somehow.  The sins of generations mentioned by God signify the consequences of deeds done by people and can be passed down to their offspring. The same old mindsets or same toxic patterns of behaviors. And to me when God called Himself the Jealous God, it means to seek the Truth. And anything not of truth works against it.    The people of Israelites failed badly with their golden calf and completely betrayed what God had told them. However, God gave them another chance to rise again through the the stone tablets created with Moses. Same laws and ordinances were recorded again on the new tablets. I got to find some new meanings in some of the decrees. When God ordered them to give the first born and the best of their harvest, it means we are to give and do the best in our life and let God's li

As time went by and seeing no sight of Moses, the people of Israel lost faith and patience to wait for him to return. Then, they requested a golden calf as a substitute of God. They easily forgot about what God told them to do. Similar thing had happened before when Abraham and Sarah were waiting for having a child of their own. They tried to do it in their own way. But it turned out that God's way was way better. Imagine one's child has a rock or metal as the substitute of their parent. How would that parent have felt about that? It is understandable the frustration and anger God must have felt toward the people of Israel. But I still don't believe that God actually ordered the Levites to have the others killed. I look at that event as a metaphor meaning to eradicate things that are of less significance in our lives. In the Old Testament, God was distant and a majestic presence. Even God himself told Moses that no one could see Him and live. People could only glimpse H

I would like to meet whoever absolutely enjoys this part of Exodus because I have failed to do so. I am not a person who is fond of rituals. It is really hard for me to see the point of including the instruction in details of how to make the tents and the holy sanctuary. Maybe it was written down so people back then who had to make them would know how to do so. For people of other times, it is like reading a manual of something that we have never seen and will never use. I suppose it is like looking at a picture, sometimes you zoom in trying to see all the details but the whole point is to zoom out to see the panorama. We get lost if we get too caught up in the details. God instructed them to make these things to remind the people of Israel that He was among them and would be guiding them whenever they needed Him.

God created these laws for people of Israel to follow. Some of them aligned to the laws of modern day, while others seemed pretty cruel such as the law of an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth..etc. I cannot help thinking that all these were made by humans according to their perception of God. Also, some of the rules were misogynistic. Women were basically properties to men. A male slave could be free when the seventh year arrived yet a female slave could not. But it was addressed to people at that time. Slavery has been long abolished, too. It was hard to swallow all of the content but a few verses still stood out that can still apply to the modern world. "Do not wrong or oppress any outsiders living among you, for there was a time when you lived as outsiders in the land of Egypt." Exodus 22:21 "Do not oppress an outsider. You know well what it is like to be an outsider living in a foreign land, for you were strangers once in the land of Egypt." Exodus 23:8

One day God decided to speak to the people of Israel directly and told them about the rules to follow. I got lost easily among the words of the rules set by God and I failed to grasp the essential message out of these chapters. I didn't know what else to do so I just kept on reading. Then, today I have decided that I have to deal with it head-on instead of drifting further away. All in all, it is a story about God setting up guidelines for the people that He had rescued from Egypt and He wanted them to follow Him through these rules while being wandering in the wilderness. To think about it, what a privilege to be spoken to by God directly! I cannot imagine what it was like. It was described as a scary scene with no shortage of natural phenomenons. The people must have been panicked over being in a middle of nowhere and then having to meet God. Maybe that's why God doesn't do it that way much anymore. Even though I am not even sure it actually happened. I felt repulsed

These chapters are mainly about the Israelites' constant struggle being in the desert. They lost their faith easily, yet God again and again reminded them that He was their provider. This reminds me that God has provided what I need through my family as well. Even though it's been nerve-wrecking each time money is running out. And I am not sure how long I will get out of this state. The Israelites' constant complaining and desire of getting out of the moment of torture reminds myself of my own impatience. I also constantly only want to get to the next moment and avoid discomfort. But the discomfort of the moment is a necessary lesson to learn. The constant need for looking for the next thing keep us from living in the moment which is the only thing that is real. I also observed that Moses was a man that liked to do things on his own carrying all the burden. But his father-in-law pointed out that the task would only wear Moses down sooner or later. So he suggested him to

I have fallen again into this loop of trying to figure out if the story actually took place and if God actually killed these people. I totally forgot to just find morals and principles to learn from the story. I don't believe in a cruel God. I still have lots of questions and find it hard to connect Jesus to God of the old testament. Because He seemed powerful and saved His people yet was ruthless toward His other creations. The best way for me to get of this dilemma is to accept that the "people" or "enemy" that killed by God or ordered to killed by God symbolize difficulty, hardships and challenges in our lives. And God is always there guiding us and ready to come to our rescue to bring us back to the "promised land". I have noticed that yeast was directed by God not to be consumed and ordered not to keep any bread with yeast around. For what I know yeast is supposed to be very healthy. I don't understand the reason behind not eating it. But it

There are many questions rising reading through these eventful chapters such as why God went through all the troubles so patiently planning every detail since He could've just brought the people of Israel out right away. But He insisted that they go to a desert and have festival in honor of Him. As a human being, our instinct would've had the Israelites flee from the oppression of Pharaoh as soon as possible. Metaphorically speaking, all of the events represent circumstances in our lives that might happen or have happened. And God is willing to go through all the troubles and details patiently with us despite we might not understand it. And Pharaoh represents the tenacious challenges and hardships that keep striking us. When I read that God turned the water into blood through the hands of Aaron, I think of Jesus sacrificing Himself and spilling his own blood for the whole human race. Before Jesus came, water was turned into blood and later Jesus turned water into wine which

Standing here alone looking from the outside Seeing brides and grooms pair by pair I am not feeling sad nor jealousy but relief to learn that I do not need to play by the same rule I have come to acceptance of the state that I am For everyone's got their own story and difficulty For the first time I no longer crave for fantasy I want to live for real in this reality I will feel if overwhelming waves come crashing over me Obsession comes and goes and it is just mind's tricky game. I'm sorry, body,  for mistreating you for so long That I abused you because of the empty hole inside of me But from now on let me take care of you And let me wrap around you and feel the pain together Body, I will learn to trust your guidance and rest when I need it For you are the temple of my soul I have faith in you and trust you that you will restore it on your own pace All I need to do is to nurture you and wait patiently with you

Being plagued by insomnia and unexpected obsession dawned upon me that it is not that some people have the gift of singleness, but it is the only way for them to live and thrive. For there is toxin in them,  whenever any tiny bit of romance appears The toxin in them automatically turns it into obsession and infactuation. They simply don't have the skills and ability to love healthily.  Romantic love simply drowns them. I am not sure if the cure and healing will ever come  But I have come to acceptance that  I must focus on myself and remain single for as long as it is necessary.  Maybe someday I will be able to love for real

Obsession is not love. It is just your mind playing tricks with you repetively. Love is substantial reciprocation.

I must not stop Even if all I could do today is just take one tiny step If I stop for too long it would be harder to pick myself up again I can rest But I must keep walking everyday one step at a time

Sure, the mountains are high, but don't keep looking at it getting all overwhelmed. Focus on the steps ahead of you. Take one step at a time.

This entry on these chapters is highly personalized by my situation. God is using this story to teach me something more about my life. Besides, I cannot help but assuming that Moses might have had traits of avoidant personality disorder for his lack of self-esteem, articulation and his constant rejecting the job of doing what God directed him to do. And it was interesting to see how God tried to reason and negotiate with Moses. Then finally, God Himself compromised and came up with a plan that Moses' biological brother, Aaron would be the spokesperson. God's words of negotiation were actually very encouraging. He declared that He is the one who gives a person a mouth to speak and another doesn't, meaning that He is the Creator of all things. He is behind anything that could happen. Thus we shall not have fear. Even though Moses' stubbornness was beyond repair. I was in a insomniac state while I was reading through these three chapters. I could almost feel a tiny bit o

I was talking to a friend about politics the other day and the sentence he mentioned, "Freedom is not free" dawned upon me. Even though what that friend meant for the sentence was blood shedding revolution for freedom, it made me start introspecting my life. I am a person who is all about freedom, even though I appear to be cautious owing to my personality type. I used to think if you really love something, you must have as much of it as possible. And it was all or nothing for me. But over the years as I grew and after learning about minimalism. All or nothing actually doesn't really apply to most things in life. I have learned about what it means to set boundary in relationships and have a guideline for something.  Freedom is indeed not free, especially, when I am suffering from insomnia because of my poor sleep hygiene. I enjoyed or even addicted to the thrill of staying up and being awake alone in the dark doing whatever I wanted. I seemed free, didn't I? But it

Finally, I have reached this part of Bible that I have been anticipating. I couldn't help feeling a bit awe while reading it and carefully mull over every word. This book means a lot to me not only because that I found myself being in a desert of every aspect of my life longing to find the way out  but also that I relate to how Moses explained his son's name, Gershom, "I have been an outsider in a foreign land."  I feel like an exile being out of place despite that I am in my physical homeland. These chapters are the prelude of Israelite's great mission back to their promised land. After generations and generations, their people grew to be large in number and in strength that the new king of Egypt feared that they might turn against Egypt one day. So he made a couple of orders to try to slow down or stop their growing rate. However, a baby boy from the Levi tribe, was spared from this cruel rule. He was placed by his own mother in a basket, which was the same He