Unhappy
 To be honest, I am really unhappy.    I don't know what has gone wrong.    It is by God's grace all along the way.    It is not easy to tell just someone randomly about my story.    I hate to feel that I am gonna be this person whom someone from church wants to speak to or spends time with just because that is his/her job.    I hope someone could just want to spend time with me because he/she likes the way I am.   I hate pretending to be Christian-y.    Oh dear, when I was asked if I got time to meet up, I was really anxious.    I felt that I had done something wrong.    I feel more and more unhappy in this "family".    Yet, I don't have another one to go to.