Revenge

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Something is bothering me besides the ache of longing.
The guilt of having a dream collection of toys is following me like a shadow
The minimalist mind wants me to let everything go
Yet my heart still wants to hold onto this magical little world

If I look deep within me
I want to let go because I am afraid that one day I will have to say goodbye to them all because of some unspoken difficult situation.
So I want to do myself a service before it all crumbles.

If I look deep within me
I want to hold on because it is kind of like a revenge for that child who was emotionally confused and ignored hoping that it could bring comfort and peace and amend all.

If I look deep within me
I want to let go because part of me still longs to see this world and cannot feel satisfied to settle.

If I look deep within me
I want to hold on because I hope it could bring a little bit of joy amid all chaos.

This dilemma still can't be solved
Meanwhile I shall enjoy them
And I know the last stage will be soon complete
And my child, I hope all is well with you
You were denied to be who you were created and were accused wrongly despite being loyal to please the elders.
But I have revenged for us.
I hope you have been enjoying everything and let go of the pain that was inflicted upon you.
Even if I know there is consequence for me, I just want to spend this period of life with you.
I want you to know that I am with you and I love you.
And I always will.

You were made to please others and denied yourself. You felt ashamed to even utter a word. But you are free to be yourself now. Don't worry about not having anything to face the world. Forget about age and everything else and just be who you are. :)








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