Unhappy

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To be honest, I am really unhappy. 
I don't know what has gone wrong. 
It is by God's grace all along the way. 
It is not easy to tell just someone randomly about my story. 
I hate to feel that I am gonna be this person whom someone from church wants to speak to or spends time with just because that is his/her job. 
I hope someone could just want to spend time with me because he/she likes the way I am.
I hate pretending to be Christian-y. 
Oh dear, when I was asked if I got time to meet up, I was really anxious. 
I felt that I had done something wrong. 
I feel more and more unhappy in this "family". 
Yet, I don't have another one to go to.

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