My Les Fleurs du mal
I just finished reading this manga series called "Les Fleurs du mal" (The Flowers of Evil). I hadn't read any manga for awhile before this one. Initially, the plot was a bit eerie and ridiculous. You would have thought what kind of normal teenagers would have followed the orders of someone you barely knew because of a silly thing he did by accident that he could have had explained. However, the more I read it, the more I wanted to know what would happened to them.
Every part that seems surreal and ridiculous is however the exaggerated truth of real life of some people if not all. I especially can relate to living in a small town as a teenager feeling depressed that I would be stuck there living the same old life forever. I remember one day I felt so desperate but I didn't know how to tell that to my family. I was full of this anger and desire in my heart. I rode my bicycle just like the protagonist did wanting to escape or search for something which that I couldn't describe. And I still don't know what is that something I was looking for. Maybe it is something to fill the void in me or some passion to live for. I even wrote prose poem called "Something" (It is in my blog).
I had a place that I could never reach as a teenager. I had nowhere else to go. As I grew up I finally moved out of my town and I even went to so many different places in the world but only until now I found this something that could describe how I felt when I was a teenager living in my hometown. I feel like being understood. There is no justification for any silly things I said or did back in my confused and depressed days. I still feel depressed and confused but it is nothing like being so in that age. At least now I have known and experienced more things.
The sentiment of being an outsider and the feeling of insecurity and inferiority were something I could relate to as well. And also the fascination for books. Even though I loved collecting all kinds of books to find identity in them yet I barely read any deep books like the protagonist did. But I did like idea of reading deep, classic literature to feel better of myself or as somewhere to escape to. I did own quite a few those books.
As I kept reading, I saw myself as this insecure girl who couldn't have a say in anything and had to constantly listen and act a certain way among my peers. I put on my mask facing each day. And anxiety, panic attack and depression were not just the symptoms of my mystery. They were my flowers of evil. They had to blossom. They reminded me that I couldn't live like this anymore. Oh, I also had a dysfunctional, codependent friendship with someone just like the two protagonists. As the male main character grew up in the book, I also saw his strength increased. It was not that live or burn kind of strength anymore. He started to face his fear and he found the new strength through confronting his fear.
This manga series is nothing like a normal girly manga nor is it a scary ghost series. I have never read anything like this one. It is very philosophical, eerie yet strangly familiar. It really kept me reflecting on my life. It was quite a reading venture.
Every part that seems surreal and ridiculous is however the exaggerated truth of real life of some people if not all. I especially can relate to living in a small town as a teenager feeling depressed that I would be stuck there living the same old life forever. I remember one day I felt so desperate but I didn't know how to tell that to my family. I was full of this anger and desire in my heart. I rode my bicycle just like the protagonist did wanting to escape or search for something which that I couldn't describe. And I still don't know what is that something I was looking for. Maybe it is something to fill the void in me or some passion to live for. I even wrote prose poem called "Something" (It is in my blog).
I had a place that I could never reach as a teenager. I had nowhere else to go. As I grew up I finally moved out of my town and I even went to so many different places in the world but only until now I found this something that could describe how I felt when I was a teenager living in my hometown. I feel like being understood. There is no justification for any silly things I said or did back in my confused and depressed days. I still feel depressed and confused but it is nothing like being so in that age. At least now I have known and experienced more things.
The sentiment of being an outsider and the feeling of insecurity and inferiority were something I could relate to as well. And also the fascination for books. Even though I loved collecting all kinds of books to find identity in them yet I barely read any deep books like the protagonist did. But I did like idea of reading deep, classic literature to feel better of myself or as somewhere to escape to. I did own quite a few those books.
As I kept reading, I saw myself as this insecure girl who couldn't have a say in anything and had to constantly listen and act a certain way among my peers. I put on my mask facing each day. And anxiety, panic attack and depression were not just the symptoms of my mystery. They were my flowers of evil. They had to blossom. They reminded me that I couldn't live like this anymore. Oh, I also had a dysfunctional, codependent friendship with someone just like the two protagonists. As the male main character grew up in the book, I also saw his strength increased. It was not that live or burn kind of strength anymore. He started to face his fear and he found the new strength through confronting his fear.
This manga series is nothing like a normal girly manga nor is it a scary ghost series. I have never read anything like this one. It is very philosophical, eerie yet strangly familiar. It really kept me reflecting on my life. It was quite a reading venture.
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