Bleu Neptune

The first thing I have observed from last chapters was the number one-fifth, when Joseph told the Egyptians who had sold their lands and themselves as slaves to give one-fifth of what they produce to Pharaoh. It is no coincidence for the same proportional number to appear again. I will keep that in mind and to save one-fifth of what I earn in the future as emergency funds which can't be used absolutely except for real need at hand. Then, it begs the question of what about the other four-fifth? I will divide them into other four categories. The common expense in our life are usually categorized into Food, Living(rent or loan), Transportation and Miscellaneous (which includes clothing, entertainment, educational fee, medical expense, etc). But as I am still in debt, I will need to use a different approach. I will set first one as  Fixed Necessity  (including food, rent, transportation, medical expense and electricity bill), Miscellaneous Expense  (it varies from toilet pa...

Finally, the story of Genesis has come to an end. And it also means the end of Jacob and Joseph's lives and which signifies the beginning of a new era. A era of hardship, pain and sweat but full of miracles and God's grace. In this story God spoke to Jacob again and reassured him about the plan of moving his whole household to Egypt for the famine was severe and there was no food left anywhere else. God also promised him that one day He will bring them all back to the promised land. I wonder why exactly it is important for them to go back to that place. In the beginning it was a place Abraham was ordered to move into. And ever since then it was deemed as their promised land. That land might mean a lot to the Hebrew people in the bible, but seemingly, it really doesn't mean much to the rest of our readers as we might not even set foot on it in our lifetime, let alone to reside there. But everything starts to make sense when I look at it metaphorically. The promised land ...

I find myself preferring quietness as music these days If only I could shut down the noise in my head I am hearing the song yet not listening to it Where are the days that I spent dreaming? I hope I haven't been gone for too long I want to live all over again To feel the wind brush through my face To lie down on the grass to observe the clouds again I want to feel again the sheer joy of listening to the strings of bass and guitar intertwining in harmony It is easier to let go of yesterday When all I feel is today's sorrow If only I wouldn't get lost in tomorrow I am seeing words but not reading them Where are the lights that were guiding me through darkness? I hope it's not too late to embrace the intrinsic me I want to live authentically without regrets To be in the moment of now connecting to the world from the inside out. To learn that I don't need to find something to fill the emptiness I want to seize and hold ...

These chapters are prelude of the climax of Genesis right before Israel's whole household moving to Egypt and the old man's reunion with his long lost son, Joseph. The story consists of lots of conversations and interaction between Joseph and the brothers and between the brothers and Jacob. So it was very easy to read through them. In the beginning, Jacob told his sons not to keep sitting there looking at each other, while he heard they had grains for sale in Egypt. When famine is severe and food is running out, hunger is the first challenge at hand needs to be deal with. Food is human basic needs for living. So Jacob urged their sons to take actions instead of sitting around.  And it is a great principle for me to learn from as I have been in financial problem and I need to be able to feed myself in order to live. Actions needed to be taken. I bet the brothers were full of doubts before and during the trip to Egypt. They must have been unsure what was to come being in a fore...

I am not sure what I can get out of reading the bible and writing out my thoughts. I have been doing this continuously for days. But it means something as I haven't done this for ages and I didn't do much even back then when I was in that evangelical crowd and working as a missionary. I suppose I am trying to find some sort of connection whether to God or to my life, which is so structure-less without any routines. Although I loathe the idea of doing the Bible reading so my soul could be saved or I could be a better "Christian", it is amazing that I have had come this far with Genesis. After the long period of not reading anything, I really thought this little project of mine was going to be abandoned. I was even going to delete what I wrote about the first few chapters and call it quits the whole thing. Unbeknownst to me, watching that TV show, Lucifer, really got me interested in connecting to my faith again. Yet, reading the Bible is like life and climbing a moun...

I've always wondered what the purpose of including the long list of hard to pronounce names in the bible is. There are very few of them are even remembered by anyone. And to be honest reading through a whole chapter of just genealogy is really sleep inducing let alone being able to enjoy it. But it gave a a different perspective when I started to think of each name was a human being and God remembered each one of them. It gives me comfort to think that no matter how insignificant we feel we are, we am remembered by Him even if our names are not written down in the bible. Furthermore, there are quite a few questions appeared on my mind along reading these chapters. What exactly is wicked in God's eyes? Because it always bewildered me when I read "God" put some people to death and only mentioned that they were wicked and nothing else. Judah's first son died because he was wicked, yet Reuben, who slept with his father's concubine wasn't put to death for the...

From the previous story, God told Jacob to leave behind his father-in-law who continuously manipulated and deceived him and to return to the land of  his ancestors. This command for Jacob is not simply going back to a physical place, but also facing the grave mistake he made in the past toward his brother. God knew that in order for Jacob to move on with his life, he needed to deal with his past. And Jacob himself knew that sooner or later he would have to face his own demons and consequences despite of being frightened and scared to death of the unforeseeable outcome. One interesting event happened right before he was about to face his fear. A random "man" appeared and started wrestling with him. And Jacob's winning showed his determination and desperation for blessing for dealing with his past. Even though I am not sure if that man was God or just one of His messengers, it was amusing that he just struck Jacob's hip socket to stop him from winning. And I interpr...