Bleu Neptune

Deep deep sadness from my gut and my belly.  What do I need to let go of or strip away?  A voice within me says: Everything.  The old pattern, the old connection, and the old version of me...

Being an adult is to learn to sit with pain that comes and goes Then, all of a sudden it stings you sharply again Learning to detach from EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE and be okay with being alone But it feels like I have been learning it my whole life Nothing lasts and no one stays

I am learning again that if I like something or someone I don't need to own it.  If I see a beautiful rose, I don't need to pluck it off. Even though I got led on to believe that it belonged to me.  I ignored my intuition because of the sweet, enticing words of little substance.  I kept holding onto the thorns of the rose that wasn't mine even if my hands were bleeding.  I kept going back to see the rose day after day watering it and keeping it company but only to find out that it was plucked away by someone else I never knew.  I am grieving for the fond memories and hurting for the excuses, lies and distance.  It stains my love and betrays my soul.  It left a hollow and empty hole in my heart.  The change of heart and the rejection is, in a way similar to the death of a person you once knew  They are no more even though they are still phsyically alive in this world.  But the distance between your hearts and souls are greater than heaven...

Sometimes I feel like a cloud  It appears solid but is formless in reality Forever drifting and never settling Sometimes I feel that I am not of this world I just observe others living their lives  I want to float like a cloud being blown by the wind against the light blue canopy  Light and free Leaving behind all of the worries and anxiety Nothing seems to matter anymore When I look at the gentleness above Every piece is unique  Every bit is irreplaceable Like you and me

You are the light in the darkness of my soul.  You are me and I am you. Shine and nothing can dim the brightness. My love is more than lust, possession, and desire.  It's as wide as the universe, as deep as the ocean, a soul-to-soul connection. Love and you will never lose it.

Sometimes separation is necessary  in order to listen to that gentle inner voice, which is desperate to be heard to awaken the ego amidst the chaos and confusion to face and grieve the deepest pain that is hidden to be transformed into a butterfly from the cocoon to venture and err to live the highest version of true self

We're not meant to be And it's alright I suppose I just loved myself when I was in love with you It made me feel so alive  I got something to live for You were right all along  You are not who I thought you were I have no resentment but only gratitude for a lesson learned You didn't sign up for my fantasy  I was the moth flying into flame that wasn't mine Let's set each other free and find our own peace